10 Tips for Avoiding Anger

17/52 by M I S C H E L L E, on Flickr

Frustration and anger are something we all experience every so often. I put anger and frustration together in the same category mostly because, usually, anger comes rooted in a sense of intense frustration. Feeling anger is natural, but being in a constantly angry state, or letting yourself reach a high level of frustration several times a week can be unhealthy and damaging to you and others around you.

For a lot of people, anger is an immediate response to an unwanted trigger. We are only human, and we cannot easily change how we immediately desire to react to a situation. We can, however, with a little bit of effort, change how we do react and with what actions and words we respond.

This list is not only for those raging day in and day out. This list is for anyone who does not want to be angry or upset as often as they are now. Take a look at your very recent life. Are you happy with how you handle situations? Do you let yourself get very upset, but hold in all your frustration? You don’t have to act like an angry person to be an angry person. Many people are easily worked up, but do not express their emotions. If you can relate to the previous statement, then yes, this list is for you, too.

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Practice Progress, Not Perfection

{Sixty-Five - Three Hundred to Go} by Shattered Infinity, on Flickr

I am a perfectionist. A very lazy, procrastinating perfectionist, but a perfectionist nonetheless.

Perfection is something that, unfortunately, many of us do seek. We are always told how we can be better, try harder, make more money — the endless demands of others’ can often snowball together into a desire to meet every single one of the standards we hear around us. But these are not our standards. It is not our job to be what others want us to be. Our “job” is to be the best that we can be, and that does not equal perfection.

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How to Cope When a Busy Mind Rules Your Life

Metro Woman by Extra Medium, on Flickr

The other morning I was driving to school and was suddenly jolted into a panic. I didn’t recognize the scenery around me. Had I missed my exit? Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? A few minutes later, I recognized where I was going. I hadn’t gone off my route at all — I had simply “spaced out”, like I do almost every time I drive to school. I didn’t recognize the scenery around me because I never paid attention to it.

Like many people who become caught up in their thoughts instead of “being in the moment”, I often let my busy mind distract me from the task at hand. It’s not that my mind goes blank, though. Most people assume that when I say I’m “spacing out”, what’s really happening is that I’m just letting my mind sleep while I’m awake. That’s not true. I space out because I constantly allow my mind to slip away into thoughts that consume my consciousness for the time being.

Aside from this habit hurting my productivity, I realize a similar impulse of mine also harms my relationships in life. My mind can be both my best friend and my greatest enemy. Lately, it has been the latter. I’m not sure if this is just a natural tendency for women, or if I have deeper issues to blame, but my mind often decides to deceive me. I frequently find myself doubting and second-guessing people’s intentions. For example, my boyfriend has chosen an extremely demanding career path: medical school. He is often too busy to call or text as often as I’d like throughout the day, and instead of accepting that he really has no ulterior motives, I let my active mind run away with all the horrible possibilities it can think of. I assume he just doesn’t care about me, or that he has better things to do, or that he just doesn’t think of me as much as I think of him. These insecurities start out small, but once my mind gets going with these thoughts, things get out of hand rather quickly. Small insecurities become big problems, which lead to hurtful fights.

So how do you cope if you find yourself in this situation? Here are 3 simple steps to try:

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